Yes, a dom can bottom
This is going to be something of an explanation so bear with me as it may be a bit long.
Everyone knows me knows that I feel very very VERY strongly about the notion that a top has to bottom to be a good dom. (See steam come out of the top of Chuck's head.) But what I forget is that most people, even those who have known me for years, do not know the full story of why I think that.
I have bottomed. I will probably bottom again. There was a time, in the mid 80s, when I was part of a small group that had a private dungeon and there were no pure roles. We all switched and I was involved with a young woman who really liked to tie me up. So I became a heavy bondage bottom and if you came into the dungeon it was probably me who was hanging upside down from the ceiling wearing more rope than the clothes I came in.
After that group sort of broke up I played both sides but when I became involved in what became CDG I was topping and, given the folks in that club in its early days, I figured I had better stay on top if only because I did not know the people and it was safer that way. So I became a pure top for a number of years.
Then, in the mid 90s, I started to bottom again, to the shock of some people (I will never forget the look on Diana Barker's face the first time she saw me being tied at a CDG party), and when Donna and I were first talking to each other, it was as two switches, not as two tops or top and bottom. In fact, when we arranged to meet, there was some question as to whom was going to be tied up.
Then I met Donna and just sort of flew into top mode. And there I have pretty much stayed, but that may change. In fact it is likely to.
Anyway, there are a couple of points to this. First, just because one bottoms does not change the basic personality. I was probably domming while I was hanging from the ceiling. Just because the body is upside down does not mean the mind is. And there is nothing wrong with topping from the bottom. That notion really is utter bull crap.
Second, I know from experience why bottoming does not prepare you for being a good top. When I was bottoming, being tied to a post or a tree was comfort bondage. I really liked it. But, one time I found myself playing with a young woman who absolutely freaked when I tied her that way. My experience as a bottom could not prepare me for that. My experience as a top is what got us through it.
We are people, not roles. People, not cardboard cut-outs. Remember that.
Everyone knows me knows that I feel very very VERY strongly about the notion that a top has to bottom to be a good dom. (See steam come out of the top of Chuck's head.) But what I forget is that most people, even those who have known me for years, do not know the full story of why I think that.
I have bottomed. I will probably bottom again. There was a time, in the mid 80s, when I was part of a small group that had a private dungeon and there were no pure roles. We all switched and I was involved with a young woman who really liked to tie me up. So I became a heavy bondage bottom and if you came into the dungeon it was probably me who was hanging upside down from the ceiling wearing more rope than the clothes I came in.
After that group sort of broke up I played both sides but when I became involved in what became CDG I was topping and, given the folks in that club in its early days, I figured I had better stay on top if only because I did not know the people and it was safer that way. So I became a pure top for a number of years.
Then, in the mid 90s, I started to bottom again, to the shock of some people (I will never forget the look on Diana Barker's face the first time she saw me being tied at a CDG party), and when Donna and I were first talking to each other, it was as two switches, not as two tops or top and bottom. In fact, when we arranged to meet, there was some question as to whom was going to be tied up.
Then I met Donna and just sort of flew into top mode. And there I have pretty much stayed, but that may change. In fact it is likely to.
Anyway, there are a couple of points to this. First, just because one bottoms does not change the basic personality. I was probably domming while I was hanging from the ceiling. Just because the body is upside down does not mean the mind is. And there is nothing wrong with topping from the bottom. That notion really is utter bull crap.
Second, I know from experience why bottoming does not prepare you for being a good top. When I was bottoming, being tied to a post or a tree was comfort bondage. I really liked it. But, one time I found myself playing with a young woman who absolutely freaked when I tied her that way. My experience as a bottom could not prepare me for that. My experience as a top is what got us through it.
We are people, not roles. People, not cardboard cut-outs. Remember that.