WHEN WE GO TO AN EVENT
Somebody recently asked me who we listen to when go to an event. That was an understandable question given that there are usually a number of programs going on at the same time and you can't hear everyone. In fact you probably don't even want to.
Ok, I'm having fun, but I always do that.
So, who do I go to hear?
Well, first, let me explain that we do not do many of these things. We stick to the local stuff simply because I really do hate to travel. That is not just an image thing. I don't like sleeping in strange beds, I worry constantly and I just do not enjoy myself. And I won’t fly on a commercial airliner. I refuse to stand in line and have my feet sniffed! That being said, back to the question.
I have two fundamental rules. First, I only go to hear local people now. I think it is really important to support our own folk, many of whom are young and need that support. The other thing is that the locals, for the most part, are not "Names." They are not there to draw the money of the great unwashed. They are there because they really know what they are talking about, not just for the free lunch and brought in in the hope that they will give the next event sponsored by whomever free publicity on their website.
The other rule I have, and bear with me on this, is that the speaker must be het (with a couple of exceptions for people I know). There is a practical reason for this. I do not think that gays have anything of value to say to us. Leaving aside my opinion of gay leather, which if you have read anything on this site is pretty well known, what gays have to say simply does not apply to us. We have a different culture, different life experiences. We really do not see the world or our relationships the same way. And very often this applies to technique as well.
For example, the popular myth that tops should learn by bottoming is nonsense in the het context but actually may make some small, very small sense in the gay one, so the gays will promote that. But if you think about it, I'm a het male. My partner, my bottom, is ALWAYS going to be born female. I don't even want to see male genitalia, much less play with it. So the body parts, the central nervous system, the adrenal system are going to be much different in anyone that I play with than mine. Knowing how an implement feels on me is not going to tell me jack shit about how it is going to feel on her! And that does not include the life experience that will inform her psychological responses.
Now, gays tend to play with people who have similar anatomy and the life experiences are not that dramatically different in most cases so they can make a case for the notion of learning by bottoming but again, for hets that is simple lunacy.
And one can go on and on. In a very real sense, they come from another planet. So if you are het, stick to het speakers and if you are gay, vice versa. You'll learn more that way.
And avoid the NAMES!!! They are only there for the free pr and the free lunch. Most of them don't know which end of the flogger to hold (and if you want a really good laugh watch them on the playfloor proving that they don’t).
But in the end, don't go to an event for the speakers. Go for the people, the fellowship and the chance to shock the living shit out of the out-of-towners who may still be so stupid as to believe in SSC.
Somebody recently asked me who we listen to when go to an event. That was an understandable question given that there are usually a number of programs going on at the same time and you can't hear everyone. In fact you probably don't even want to.
Ok, I'm having fun, but I always do that.
So, who do I go to hear?
Well, first, let me explain that we do not do many of these things. We stick to the local stuff simply because I really do hate to travel. That is not just an image thing. I don't like sleeping in strange beds, I worry constantly and I just do not enjoy myself. And I won’t fly on a commercial airliner. I refuse to stand in line and have my feet sniffed! That being said, back to the question.
I have two fundamental rules. First, I only go to hear local people now. I think it is really important to support our own folk, many of whom are young and need that support. The other thing is that the locals, for the most part, are not "Names." They are not there to draw the money of the great unwashed. They are there because they really know what they are talking about, not just for the free lunch and brought in in the hope that they will give the next event sponsored by whomever free publicity on their website.
The other rule I have, and bear with me on this, is that the speaker must be het (with a couple of exceptions for people I know). There is a practical reason for this. I do not think that gays have anything of value to say to us. Leaving aside my opinion of gay leather, which if you have read anything on this site is pretty well known, what gays have to say simply does not apply to us. We have a different culture, different life experiences. We really do not see the world or our relationships the same way. And very often this applies to technique as well.
For example, the popular myth that tops should learn by bottoming is nonsense in the het context but actually may make some small, very small sense in the gay one, so the gays will promote that. But if you think about it, I'm a het male. My partner, my bottom, is ALWAYS going to be born female. I don't even want to see male genitalia, much less play with it. So the body parts, the central nervous system, the adrenal system are going to be much different in anyone that I play with than mine. Knowing how an implement feels on me is not going to tell me jack shit about how it is going to feel on her! And that does not include the life experience that will inform her psychological responses.
Now, gays tend to play with people who have similar anatomy and the life experiences are not that dramatically different in most cases so they can make a case for the notion of learning by bottoming but again, for hets that is simple lunacy.
And one can go on and on. In a very real sense, they come from another planet. So if you are het, stick to het speakers and if you are gay, vice versa. You'll learn more that way.
And avoid the NAMES!!! They are only there for the free pr and the free lunch. Most of them don't know which end of the flogger to hold (and if you want a really good laugh watch them on the playfloor proving that they don’t).
But in the end, don't go to an event for the speakers. Go for the people, the fellowship and the chance to shock the living shit out of the out-of-towners who may still be so stupid as to believe in SSC.