TWO INSTRUCTIVE TALES
Here are two of my favorite true stories. On first glance they may not seem to have much to do with BDSMers but if you think about them they give a good indication of how one should deal with the despised nillers.
The Parental Units Have Dinner
Decades ago, when I was away at grad school, my parents had a routine they followed every Friday. My father would pick my mother up from work and they would go to a local eatery, one of those Greek places with a menu as long as your arm, and have supper. They did this every Friday.
One Good Friday, no big deal to my parents, who, being rational beings had no use for such nonsense, they followed their usual custom and were sitting at their table, my father eating his steak and my mother eating her pork tenderloin, like they usually did. At the next table however, there was a large family who, apparently not blessed with the rationality of my parents and taking the Festival of the Dying God seriously, were stuck with fish. And among them was a little boy who, being possessed of a sanity that obviously had skipped his elders, was unhappy about the dietary restrictions and wanted a hamburger.
His parents kept trying to explain to him that it was Good Friday and he could not have a hamburger to which he responded by pointing to my folks and saying, “They’re having meat!”
His parents were nonplussed to say the least. After all, how does one explain theological disputes over 500 years old to a five-year-old? My parents, on the hand, were thoroughly enjoying the discomfort because they were certainly under no obligation to alter their eating patterns to suit the pitiful superstitions of the other diners.
The Satanic Bible Study
About 20 years ago a friend of mine and I were eating in the Wheaton, IL Baker’s Square, which was just off the property of the Theosophical Society where we would go to the Thursday night lectures. And being in Wheaton, IL, home of Wheaton College, the alma mater of Billy Graham, it had its share of young fundamentalist xtians who would pray over their food and study the bible and generally be disgusting. We decided to have some fun with them.
The next week we starting having Satanic Bible studies. After the Thursday lecture we would go to the eatery, take out our copies of The Satanic Bible and do a mockery of the format of the typical xtian bible study. This meant one of us reading a passage from the book and then saying, “Now, what is Satan trying to tell us here?” And when our food came we would make a pentagram over it and say something appropriately devilish.
As you can imagine, the little fundies in the next booth, and there were inevitably some, would be utterly dumbfounded and often rather disturbed. But they never tried to witness to us. I think we scared them.
But the truly hilarious part came later. We paid our check and were walking to our car when an older couple that had been a couple of booths down came up to us, laughing, and the man said, "We teach at Wheaton College and that was the funniest thing we've seen in years."
Here are two of my favorite true stories. On first glance they may not seem to have much to do with BDSMers but if you think about them they give a good indication of how one should deal with the despised nillers.
The Parental Units Have Dinner
Decades ago, when I was away at grad school, my parents had a routine they followed every Friday. My father would pick my mother up from work and they would go to a local eatery, one of those Greek places with a menu as long as your arm, and have supper. They did this every Friday.
One Good Friday, no big deal to my parents, who, being rational beings had no use for such nonsense, they followed their usual custom and were sitting at their table, my father eating his steak and my mother eating her pork tenderloin, like they usually did. At the next table however, there was a large family who, apparently not blessed with the rationality of my parents and taking the Festival of the Dying God seriously, were stuck with fish. And among them was a little boy who, being possessed of a sanity that obviously had skipped his elders, was unhappy about the dietary restrictions and wanted a hamburger.
His parents kept trying to explain to him that it was Good Friday and he could not have a hamburger to which he responded by pointing to my folks and saying, “They’re having meat!”
His parents were nonplussed to say the least. After all, how does one explain theological disputes over 500 years old to a five-year-old? My parents, on the hand, were thoroughly enjoying the discomfort because they were certainly under no obligation to alter their eating patterns to suit the pitiful superstitions of the other diners.
The Satanic Bible Study
About 20 years ago a friend of mine and I were eating in the Wheaton, IL Baker’s Square, which was just off the property of the Theosophical Society where we would go to the Thursday night lectures. And being in Wheaton, IL, home of Wheaton College, the alma mater of Billy Graham, it had its share of young fundamentalist xtians who would pray over their food and study the bible and generally be disgusting. We decided to have some fun with them.
The next week we starting having Satanic Bible studies. After the Thursday lecture we would go to the eatery, take out our copies of The Satanic Bible and do a mockery of the format of the typical xtian bible study. This meant one of us reading a passage from the book and then saying, “Now, what is Satan trying to tell us here?” And when our food came we would make a pentagram over it and say something appropriately devilish.
As you can imagine, the little fundies in the next booth, and there were inevitably some, would be utterly dumbfounded and often rather disturbed. But they never tried to witness to us. I think we scared them.
But the truly hilarious part came later. We paid our check and were walking to our car when an older couple that had been a couple of booths down came up to us, laughing, and the man said, "We teach at Wheaton College and that was the funniest thing we've seen in years."